I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize