I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
