my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
