i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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