fuck your aforementioned shoe
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
