smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize