yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
