It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Randomize
