What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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