I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
