So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
