What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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