Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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