How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
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