I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Randomize
