There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
