i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
