i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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