We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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