K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
