New low: just hacked my moms facebook
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
