he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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