Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Holy shit dude........stairs
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