we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
