Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
