she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
