Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
