what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
