You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
