i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
