I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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