Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
