ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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