allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
