Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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