Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
