is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
