Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
