he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
They are going to name an STD after you.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
