i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
