What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
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