You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
