They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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