My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
