I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Randomize
