Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
