Cold hands, warm shart.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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