Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
