i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
