That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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