I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
