Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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