One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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