If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
