Heybabeimwearingurpanties
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
