i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
