im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
