Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize