Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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