He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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