Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
