its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
