we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
