Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Randomize
